Hard to believe, but I may be *back* for awhile. Who knew I was gone, right? Well fuck all of the naysayers, because I've been getting >1000 hits/day without updating for nearly a year.
So what the fuckwho have I been doing for the past nine months? It's a long story.. If you must know, I lost a very good friend. He didn't die, but he did break the rules: he told one of the women I was seeing everything about my various other affairs... Very, very poor judgement on his part. Of course, it was all in his interest.. He ended up tagging her in the end. This was six months ago. We are no longer good friends.
Guys, don't EVER fuck over your friends for a piece of ass. All you'll get is shit. (If he'd let me know he was interested, I would have handed her over, anyways.. have some fucking respect, man!!)
In an interesting twist of fate, I ran into one on of her friends last month. She said they're still together, but noted that she "doesn't know what she sees in him".. To which I replied, "He goes down." True, true.
posted by chris @ 12:58 PM
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
Hi Toni. posted by chris @ 3:47 PM
Monday, February 03, 2003
Everyone loves Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
This weekend was very productive. I spent Friday and Saturday with Amanda. We went to this upscale place called Spy Club. They had a 42" flatscreen on he wall, candles and couches everywhere, and even a fireplace. $6 shots, lots of booze, a live DJ, and more $6 shots - that about sums it up.
Let's face it, Amanda is not a great conversationalist. I don't see her all that often, which makes it easier. Still, it's nice to talk every now and then..... What am I saying?!?!?!?!?!?!
posted by chris @ 12:17 PM
Thursday, January 30, 2003
Itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face..
It's been a long time, I know. A lot has happened in the past two months since I last graced you with my fucking presence. Thankfully I still have loads of loyal readers. I'll post some more emails later today. They should keep you occupied for awhile.
Something that's really fucking cool? Well, everyone saw the Reebok Terry Tate: Office Linebacker commercial during the SuperBowl this past Sunday. If you haven't already checked it out because you're a douche, there's a 3.5 min "Terry's World" video at reebok.com showcasing even more funny shit. It's fucking awesome.
And the winner is... me. I started seeing this girl Lindsay. She's 19, was a cheerleader in high school, and on the dance/drill team. Very limber, very cute, very petite, and low self-esteem. Perfect - and much cheaper than most women of comparable beauty. She's in college, but she's pretty busy. This is works great because I can take Fridays with Amanda.
Haven't I told you about Amanda yet? She taking some serious club-money, but so far it's been worth it. For those of you not familiar with the term, club money just refers to the fact that everything is more expensive - an necessary - at nice clubs. From the cover to the drinks, the coat-check to the bathroom attendant, things start to add up. The thing is, Amanda loves the clubs; and she's got the padonkadonk for it. I'm talking J-Lo ass here. She's out of town, which makes it easier, too. Not really necessary because she's 23 and we travel in different circles (let's face it, Lindsay can't drink) and aren't really in any danger of getting caught.
That's the scoop, huggy bear. Stay tuned, or I'll lay the smack down on your ass.
posted by chris @ 10:13 AM
Tuesday, December 17, 2002
I met a girl named Shakira over the weekend. Funny thing is, she looked more like Reese Witherspoon.
Things were looking good for awhile, but I guess that I was just too money that night. This girl named Nicole, who my friend was talking to, came over and started rubbing my back. Mind you, this is while I'm talking to Shakira about molecular genetics and important shit.
With all due respect to Nicole, she's a cute girl, a bit slutty, but not what I was interested in. At all. She did enough damage to my game with Shakira to put me off completely. So I messed around with Nicole for some payback. It wasn't that I wanted her, or that she was terribly attractive. I mean, I would never date this girl. It's just that she pissed me off for messing up my game, and abandoning my friend's advances, that the bitch needed to learn a lesson.
That lesson being that just when she got hot and bothered, I up & left with my friend.
And did I mention that I called her a whore?
posted by chris @ 9:30 AM
Monday, December 09, 2002
How the hell have you been? I'm out another $310 after last week. A cashmere coat and a killer pair of dress oxfords has drained my bank account. They were a big hit on Saturday, though, and got me a little further with a few women than I would have gone otherwise. There's no excuse for not closing a deal in the past month, though.
Focus.
I'm overlapping letters already, so fuck that system. Amber is really nice, but could stand to lose 5lbs. She knows it, though, which makes her approachable. REMEMBER: As long as a woman *thinks* there's something wrong with her, she'll be more inclined to settle for someone. It's basically playing on her insecurities.
Now, before I catch some flack for that one, let me just remind everyone that women are much more manipulative than we guys will ever be. We bow to the masters.
And then we bend the bitches over.
posted by chris @ 2:28 PM
Monday, December 02, 2002
I still can't shake the dirty feeling I get when I see pictures of the band Tatu. I like the whole, "Young lesbians in love," theme, but come on.. They're barely 18, and were much younger when their act solely in Russia. posted by chris @ 12:34 PM
Sunday, November 24, 2002
Two University of Michigan fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do. The first University of Michigan fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."
The second University of Michigan fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."
The first University of Michigan fan asks, "Why not?"
The second University of Michigan fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."
posted by chris @ 2:26 PM
Thursday, November 21, 2002
Well, I found out that "J" at Gap is a former stripper. She's only 20yrs old, too. After talking with her some more, declaring herself a former stripper might not be very accurate. I have a feeling that she'll need to resurrect that career path before too long. If not in my bedroom, then at dive strip-club over on Olentangy. posted by chris @ 3:41 PM
Monday, November 18, 2002
The first week at this new job is over and done with. At the end of if, what do we have? Only two hot prospects!!
True, I have been working at night - the time when ugly people usually come out - but I thought there would be more attractive women than this. Next week I'll have some daytime hours, though, and should be able to truly judge the situation. If it is truly hopeless, I'll just take my discount and clock the hell out.
posted by chris @ 2:13 PM
If you want to go to the Ohio State - Michigan game, you better have deep pockets. My extra job won't get me in there, not with auctions going for over $500 a pop (4 tickets for $2,225). posted by chris @ 2:09 PM
It has to be said, loud and often, that Michigan SUCKS!!!! posted by chris @ 2:04 PM
random hot chick
Want to link me up? Fuck off (for now). Link-up images coming soon.
